Captain Chaos

D’you fish? 

I just had to get out of the house and office because I had been cooped up for nearly the whole month of wet October. I’d forgotten to pull the draining plugs on my tinnie which had filled with water from all the rain. It’s amazing what comes to the surface when a boat fills with water, old dried up prawns and pilchards plus a bonus plastic packet of hooks that I’d accused the dog of swallowing (well it was in plastic and should go straight through, I thought!).
Maybe I should start at the beginning.
I’d heard a lot of yelling and dog barking and on opening the front door I saw to my horror my tinnie and trailer slowly sliding down the drive with a figure in front looking like they were trying to stop it.
“Hey Chaos, give us a hand here. I can’t hold it!”
I jumped over the dog and raced out to help. The next thing both the person (who I now recognized as my friend Alice) and me were travelling backwards down the drive … a little slower, I must admit, but still moving.
“Chaos you’d better think of something quickly, the driveway gets steeper just before the drop”
The DROP! I’d forgotten in the heat of the moment where we were all heading. If we didn’t stop we were going over the falls. I huffed and puffed.
“The draining plugs, I’ll open them.”
“What ever you do … do it now!”
The plugs fell away and we both were drenched.
“Jesus, Chaos, you could have cleaned the boat better, I’m drenched in smelly old bait.”
“Watch out for hooks.”
“Now you tell me.”
Suddenly the dog flew past with the painter from the bow in his mouth. That’s all we needed … a bloody great rottweiler swinging on a rope in the opposite direction.
“Zack drop it! You’re not helping,” I yelled while feeling my feet slowly sliding out of my Crocs (a quick note to self, these plastic shoes have holes in the front so the leaches can swim in). Zack just wagged his bottom as he hasn’t got a tail (not my fault he came like that!) and pulled all the more.
It was then I spotted a block of wood to one side as we slid by. I grabbed the wood and stuffed it under the  wheel of the trailer.
“Bloody Hell, Chaos!” Alice yelled as she, the trailer and boat swung on the single chock, swinging her around next to me. The dog dropped the rope and took off because the boat was now heading straight at him bow first, down the hill with Alice and I hanging from the stern trying to pull the whole shebang to a halt.
“Thank heavens!” yelled Alice. But the chock had put the boat off course. Instead of straight down the drive, it was rolling into the garden on the side. Now, the boat and trailer started to mow down everything in front of it in Little Person’s garden! I thought now might be a great time to take a trip to Bali.
We all came to a halt over the broken stump of LP’s much loved olive tree.
“You might like to take this to Little Person,” Alice said, holding out a branch of the olive tree while looking back up the hill at the carnage. “And I only came over to ask you for the recipe for jewfish cutlets. I just got given some.”
“If we hurry I can come over now and show you,” I said quickly looking up at the house windows to see if we had been observed.
Zack was in the ute when I got there … he’s a smart one for his breed.
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all readers and those that love the sea. I just hope you all have a safe one out on the water.

Jewfish cutlets with dill, olive and rocket

Ingredients
4 Jewfish cutlets
½ cup of chopped up dill
2 cups of torn rocket that’s been standing in boiling water
3 tablespoons of black olives chopped
1 cup of bread crumbs
salt and pepper to taste (freshly ground )
1 glass dry white wine  
olive oil

Cooking
Into a baking dish, place the cutlets skin side down. Place on top all the ingredients starting with the dill and finishing with the bread crumbs. Pour over the wine and olive oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Bake in a 200C oven for 20 minutes. Serve immediately with side salad.