Galley Gourmet with Captain Chaos - How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  The door bell just rang. This started my two large dogs racing towards the door, bulldozing everything in their path. I watched Little Person try to get out of their way but the dogs collided with her, spinning her around into the coffee table which she demolished. Helping her up I tried to make light of the breakage.
  “Lucky I import these tables. I think there’s another one in the shed.”
  “Chaos, get the door before the bloody dogs break it down.”
  I pushed past the dogs and opened the door as the dogs flew out. I caught a glimpse of a couple of white shirts flying up the driveway trying to make the front gate before the dogs caught them. I stood on the porch watching the two young blokes hurtle the fence as if they had wings.
  “Can I help you?” I yelled over the noise of the dogs as they tried to bark and growl at the same time.
  “We just called to tell you about the imminent end of the world and ask what you would do.”
  “Nothing! But if you’re going next door, beware. The owner has a very cranky bull in the front paddock and if he gets you, believe me the end of your world won’t be far away.”
  They waved their thanks and I called the dogs in.
  “What did they want?” LP asked.
  “I think they wanted to help us through to the next world.”
  RING! RING!
  “Phone, Chaos, could you get that.”
  “George here. Can you help me? I’ve promised a bloke to deliver his boat today.”
  “Well I haven’t anything on so I’ll meet you at the gate.
  By the way, have a couple of young blokes called on you this afternoon?”
  “No! Haven’t seen ’em.”
  Arriving at George’s gate I could hear a strange noise. It sounded like it was coming from his front paddock. I headed towards the sound and nearly walked right up the backside of George’s bull. It wasn’t interested in me as it was licking something caught on the fence.
  “Hey! You alright?” I yelled, pushing the bull away because it was as docile as a lamb.
  “It’s trying to eat me!” came a terrified croak from the bundle on the fence.
  “Cattle only eat grass, so I wouldn’t worry. Here let me get you untangled.”
  I put my hands on him to find he was covered in slime from the bull licking him.
  “You better come and get washed up, where’s your mate?’
  “He took off.”
  “No! I’m up here,” came a distant yell. I looked up to see a figure three quarters up a 100ft pine tree.
  “Hey, you can come down now, the bull’s harmless.”
  “I can’t move. I’m stuck.”
  “If you think I’m going to climb up and get you, you’ll be waiting till the end of the world.”
  Just then George pulled up and hopped out. Looking around he spotted the bloke on the fence.
  “What in the hell are you doing there? For that matter what are you doing on my property?”
  “We came to tell you about the end of the world when the bull attacked us.”
  “So what’s he doing up there?
  “Come on George. Stop mucking around, the bloke’s stuck.”
  “Maybe we should ring the SES and get them to get him out.”
  Anyway, we fetched a ladder and no sooner had we got the bloke on to the ground when the bull came thundering up again.
  “Hey, that bull loves you mate.”
  The one from the tree beat his mate to the boundary and cleared it with plenty of daylight between him and the fence.
  “Well that bull has a lot of sense, he can pick ’em. What did they want?” George asked noticing I had picked up a leaflet.
  “You wouldn’t believe it, they were selling nuclear underground shelters in case of a world war.”
  “Come on Chaos it’s too late to deliver the boat. Let’s go up to the house for a grog and something to eat, I got some trout from Tilzey when he came back from the mountains.”

Trout with brown butter sauce

Ingredients
  1 whole trout
  1 teaspoon crushed garlic
  1 teaspoon crushed chilli
  6 olives seeded and chopped finely
  juice of one lemon
  2 tablespoons of butter
Cooking
  Place the trout on an oven-proof dish and coat with butter then place it under the grill and cook a minute on each side. Add the rest of the ingredients and grill for a minute or so. Serve on hot plate (you can use less garlic or chilli to suit your taste).