The weather on the north coast for April hasn’t been good for sailing or fishing. Rain squalls and heavy seas, not to mention the half-submerged timber and rubbish being brought down to the sea by the flooded rivers. But all this doesn’t stop some keen madmen! 
  Bill, one of my fishing and sailing mates, came knocking on my door in the early hours of the morning. I could hardly hear the knocking because the rain was thundering down on the tin roof. I turned on the porch light and opened the door. 
  “Bloody hell Chaos, I need your help,” Bill yelled over the roaring rain. 
  I looked him up and down. He was sopping wet and when he took his hat off I copped a bucket of freezing cold water all over me. 
  “Thanks a lot mate!” 
  “Sorry, but it’s a bit wet out there,” he said waving his hand towards the door at the same time giving me another face full. 
  “Might I enquire as to what brings you to my place at four in the morning?” 
  “I just got a phone call from the SES to say I should come down to the boat. I couldn’t hear the rest of the call because my mobile cut out.” 
  “So why have you come here? The boat’s moored down on the river.” 
  “Well, I thought I would need some help, so here I am.” 
  I could see I didn’t have much of a chance of getting out of helping him, my name would be mud around the district within hours. 
  “I’ll put a pair of shorts on and get my coat and hat, we’ll take my ute because all my tools are in it.” 
  We had just stepped out the door on to the porch when a voice yelled from inside. 
  “You alright are you? What’s all this water in here and where in the hell are you going at this ungodly hour, not sailing or fishing, I know you aren’t that stupid!” 
  “Sorry LP. Some kind of an emergency at Bill’s boat. Won’t be long.” 
  The thunder drowned out her reply. 
  The rain was still coming down in buckets when we came over the hill and started sliding down towards the river. I had the brakes full on but it didn’t make any difference. 
  “Open the door and get ready to jump, I think we are going into the river.” 
  I could hear what sounded like prayers from over Bill’s side of the cabin. Just at the last minute the ute came to an abrupt halt up against a log. Bill disappeared with a yell out of his open door. Looking through the windscreen I saw Bill pass right in front of the ute and drop out of sight. 
  “Hell! He’s in the river.” 
  I scrambled out and ran around to the front of the ute forgetting about the log. The next thing I was flying through the air until I came to rest in soft sticky sludge. 
  “Bill!” I yelled through a mouthful of mud so it came out as a croak. 
  “Chaos!” Bill’s call sounded like mine. He seemed close enough to touch. 
  Staggering to my feet I soon blundered into Bill. The rain was washing the mud off us when another voice called. 
  “Hey you guys all right? You nearly ran us down. Do you always drive like that?” 
  “Who are you blokes?” Bill asked as we clambered up out of the mud hole we had fallen into. 
  “SES. We have just come in from your boat. It had a large tree tangled in the mooring. We towed it around the bend and secured it to the wharf.” 
  “Thanks, mate!” 
  “If your phone hadn’t cut out you needn’t have come down.” 
  I won’t relate what I said to Bill!!!!!! 
  “Come on Chaos don’t be like that … come back to my place I have some OP rum and last night’s pork in kecap sauce. 

Pork in Sweet Kecap Sauce 

Ingredients 
  600 pork loin cut into 2cm cubes 
  2 shallots cut finely 
  2 tablespoons crushed garlic 
  2 tablespoons crushed chillies 
  2 tablespoons crushed ginger 
  4 tablespoons kecap manis 
  2 tablespoons kecap asin 
  2 large cups of chicken stock 
  3 tablespoons vegetable oil